1. Vestibulum ante algentem, plus quam sat est cognitis amet.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Cum pulsis, deorsum peteret, si quis male strata via per quam ingrediebantur.
4. Nam 15 annis, omne quod Die uxorem suggerit ad museum, mirari ut Museums sunt aperta die Dominica scriptor.
5. Nam 15 annis, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (gratias multum Leges hyacintho!).
6. Utor 20 puncta facere 3 point turn.
7. Cadite super a frigus mane meridianus, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, Ridiculum" Nullam ac verto eam, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Aperire possit delicate edere et album albacore tuna possit a recta eam, in lectulo, nocte.
9. Vade ad culinam manducans prandium cum uxore est,, FERRAMENTUM aperire perscriptorem et vasa circuitum usque dis clamoribus uxor, "what are you looking for!"
10. Acceptis novum negotium cards, illos secreto domus undique: Sub lectulum, in cervical casibus,, intus pocula capulus, in marsupio, in tunica loculos, lacus currus chirothecam, cella — anywhere you can think of.
11. Blog scribere de tuo uxor.
12. Expergescimini.
13. Urbs Novum Eboracum cum ambulantes plateis, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Attenta peculiari uxoris timores, ut si peruenire usque ad colligunt usque sursum et una quaerere, "hmm, Miror quid hoc est?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! Agat eam iterum!"
15. Write "top 10" Album ut non habent 10 items.

===

Bonus uxorem ioco:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Bene, cum consummasset comedere, ad PEDISECA venit rogavit quomodo nos nostra libenter cibum. Volui dicere,, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, sed ego succlamassem eius, ‘You ruined my life!`"

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De sex annos, filii quattuor annorum susum sunt custodiae et Inventionem alveo "Turpis impetus" specialis (potest hoc). He was very young at the point and I was always worried what he might see on a show like this and how he might take it. I didn’t want him to develop, enim, quis specialis metus de aqua vel LOQUITOR aliquid inconueniens ad amicos et forte faciat eius infantem amicus network ad fregerunt.

Discovery handles these kinds of subjects very well. It’s not about creating a timore aliquid, but rather to show how unusual it is for sharks to attack humans.

Ita, we’re watching it and there is this one particularly scary attack involving a small girl. As Discovery is building the drama of the attack, mea filius (qui semper perquam TURBATUS usquam), is getting very excited. I make some noises about how unusual it is for sharks to attack people, and how bad the poor girl must feel. I’m trying to explain that people recover from these events and become stronger for it. Autem, I had misinterpreted his excitement. He was not worried about the girl at all. Pro, dum percussione manus, refert me, "De loca amare! It’s terrific. It’s wonderful. Its a DREAM COME TRUE!"

Ego hoc hilares, but also very disturbing. On the one hand, Libenter — etiam paulo superbus — quod potuit fortis empathic affectus, cross-species though they may be. As humans, opus evolvere nostri "empathic musculi" ita loqui aut tu finire quasi huic In alia manu 🙂, he was feeling cross-species empathy toward a species who was exhibiting behavior inimical to his own. I was really struggling with this when the narrator used the word "paradigm". My son picked up on that and asked me what that meant.

At non facile describi ad quatuor anni, but I gave it a try. When I think of the word "paradigm", Thomas Kuhn is never far from my thoughts. Lego Compages de Scientific revolutionibus retro ad Mollis et melius peius, verbum "paradigma" is pregnant with extra meaning for me. (Modi sicut verbum "contactus" audito a Movie Lorem vocem dico me ubi videre quod movie [Ego libro erat melius]; Ego semper dicere ad ipse, "Donec!" quotiens vel audire aliquis dicere "contactus").

Usquam, Ego conatur explicare ad eum a Kuhnian definitio, quod suus "historica motus cogitationis" and that it’s a "way of thinking with a number of built-in assumptions that are hard to escape for people living at that time." Utique, non loquaris ad quatuor anni, so I’m trying to successively define it to smaller pieces and feeling rather proud of myself as I do so. (Ego iustus cognovit quod aliquis extra collegium cura me legere Kuhn!).

I’m just warming to the task when he interrupts me. Waving his hand in meae directionem et numquam assumptis oculos off aliud inhumanum turpis impetum, justi dicit, "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Mauris, mauris, mauris. ".

Adeo ut 🙂

Ad quod punctum, Placuit ad fugit, oratoriam loqui, sedere retro, et frui vigilantes loca impetum homines cum filius.

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Retro iuxta 1999, Sum consumptis multum hebdomadarum ex in Santa Barbara, CA, operantes enim a client, leaving my poor wife back here in New Jersey alone. I dearly love my wife. I love her just as much today as I did when she foolishly married me 1,000 years or so ago. Alicubi in linea, Ego signata a phrase, "Specialis timore", as in "Samantha has special fears." She as a special fear of "bugs", quod ad eam sunt non volat vel ladybugs, but rather microbes. She’s afraid of this or that virus or unusual bacteria afflicting our son, aut me, but never really herself. (Est etiam specialiter timere lamia, parvam malum pupas (maxime pagani) et subaquaneam accidentia; illa de-crevit speciali timore populus indutus in Santa Claus outfits).

Unum die, my co-worker and I decided to drive up into the nearby mountains near Ohai. At one point, we got out of the car to take in the scene. When we got back into the car, I noticed that a tick was on my shoulder. I flicked out the window and that was it.

Quod nocte, I told her about our drive and mentioned the tick. The conversation went something like this:

S: "Oooo! Those are bad. They carry diseases."

P: "Bene, Ego flicked eam fenestram."

S: "Sint mala licet. They can get under your skin and suck blood and transfer bugs. You better check your hair and make sure there aren’t any in your head!"

P: In vocem: "Deus meus! CAN THEY TAKE OVER YOUR MIND???"

S: Litteram Benigne me: "Nulla, sunt es non malum."

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Nos emit primi (et tantum) "Luxuria" car back when hurricane Floyd nailed the east coast of the U.S. We got a LOT of rain here in New Jersey and plures dies before life returned to normal. Just before Floyd struck, nos fecit offer pro usus Volvo 850 GL et post Floyd percussit, expulit domum.

It was our first car with a CD player. Like most new car owners, nos abiit paulo CD insanit, revived our dormant CD collection and went on long drives just to listen to CD’s in the car. Like all fads, this passed for us and we ended listening to the same CD over and over again. In nobis, erat Jesus Christus Superstar.

De (multis) egregie frusta in quod petram Opera cantatur per instauratione religionis genera, ductus Caiaphas, the "High Priest". They sing their way into deciding how to handle the "Jesus problem" and Caiaphas directs them to the conclusion that "Jesus must die". The refrain on the song is "Just must die, Oportet, Oportet, this Jesus must die". You hear that refrain a lot in that piece.

Ad tempus, my son was about three years old. You can probably see where this is going.

I came home from work one day and my son is in the living room playing with toys and humming to himself. I’m taking off my jacket, vultus per mail et omnes more ambulant-in-in-ostium effercio et subito animadverto quod iusta dicens, non vere cantantes: "Jesus oportet mori, Oportet, must die." I was mortified. I could just see him doing that while on one of his baby play dates at a friend’s house — probabiliter ultimum fabula date cum quod infantem amicus.

We pulled that CD out of the Volvo after that 🙂

</finem>

Ita, hoc mane,, fili mi determinatur ad visendam aetate tredecim quid Halo 3 video at Gamespot. I’m outside shoveling snow, so I’m not there to help or hinder. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that … he has a eureka! moment. He realizes that even though Gamespot wants him to enter his real birth date, he can actually enter quis birth date he wants. Once he realized that, he made himself old enough to see the video.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this 🙂

Job de collegio in prima mea 1991, Felix essem, cum ad opus vestibulum 13 locus, not including its corporate HQ in New Jersey. I joined just when the company was rolling out a new ERP system. We were a small IT department of about ten people altogether, two of whom Did Not Travel. Part of the project involved replacing IBM System 36 boxes with HP hardware and HPUX. Everyone used green tubes to access the system.

Lorem ipsum demissi immunde volvitur nova et cooperatorem, Jeff. Our job was to power up the Unix box, fac o / S procurrentem, ERP ratio install, configurare ERP, train people on the ERP and do custom work for folks on the spot. (Hoc est somnium officium, praesertim recta de collegio). Before we could really get off the ground, opus EXPEDIO omnem viridem fistulae, put them on desks and wire them. And the best part was that we had to put the RJ11 connectors on ourselves.

Qua de causa etiam non numquam quaerere et tunc intellexerunt, nos ante aliquot contrahentium cuneus venit per funem et currere per herbam, but we didn’t have them put on the connectors. Ita, there was a "patch box" with dozens of of unlabeled cables in the "computer room" et haec snaked circa aedificium ad varia loca in ædificationibus.

Per modum operati ex decursu auctor, tentans singulis filum, induendo COPULATRIX (condita certus fuit recta nos. transgressus), impendendum in viridi aliquantulus occasus vera erant fistulae et impressoribus, labeling wires, making sure that "getty" was running correctly for each port and probably a thousand other things that I’ve suppressed since then. It all came together quite nicely.

Sed, there was one important cable that we couldn’t figure out. The plant in Baltimore had a relationship with a warehousing location in New Jersey. Some orders placed in Baltimore shipped out of that location. There were two wires that we had to connect to the HPUX box: a green tube and a printer. The green tube was easy, sed ebdomada typographum convertetur in tres-tantibus.

Si id non sciunt, aut oppresserit, de viridi et impressoribus modum fistulae, there are various options that you deal with by setting various pins. 8-frenum, 7-frenum, paritatem (etiam / impar / nullus), probably others. If you get one of those settings wrong, fistulam vel typographum adhuc ostendit effercio, sed erit summa INANIS STREPITUS, or it will be gibberish with a lot of recognizable stuff in between. Utique, these pins are hard to see and have to be set by using a small flat-edge screw driver. And they are never standard.

Nos posuit ad primum multa vigent vocat cum Guidone NJ (a colorum fortasse computatrum osor qui maledixerit nobis ad diem hanc). We got the green tube working pretty quickly, but we couldn’t get the printer to work. It kept "printing garbage". We would create a new RJ11 connector, switching between crossed and straight. We would delete the port and re-created in Unix. We went through the arduous task of having him explain to us the pin configuration on the printer, si non vere certus bene ageret.

Vivamus tempus est ut, fremunt omnibus in Baltimore, sed potest non adepto ad operari maledixit procer in NJ! We’ve exhausted all possibilities except for driving back up to NJ to work on the printer in person. To avoid all that driving, we finally ask him to fax us what he’s getting when it’s "garbage", sperans quod maybe erit aliquid in fila, ut purgamentum quod indicabunt nobis quid sumus malefactoribus.

Cumque venissemus in Fax, we immediately knew what was wrong. Videte, our method of testing whether we had configured a printer correctly was to issue an "lp" sicut hoc praeceptum:

LP / c / passwd

Basically, we printed out the unix password file. It’s always present and out of the box, always just one page. You standard Unix password file looks something like this:

Faber:*:100:100:8LXXIV A-(muneris):/Home / fabri:/usr / bin / SH
:*:200:0::/Home / hospitis:/usr/bin/sh  

We had been printing out the password file over and over again for several weeks and it was printing correctly. Autem, ad finem user, it was "printing garbage".

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