1. Kupi brokulu kad bi znao da je već više nego dovoljno u hladnjaku.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Pri vožnji, pitati ako smo trebali ići na krivi put prema dolje jednosmjernoj ulici.
4. Za 15 godina, svake nedjelje da žena sugerira ide u muzej, express čudi da muzeji su otvoreni u nedjelju.
5. Za 15 godina, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (puno hvala Blue Zakoni!).
6. Koristiti 20 Točke koje treba uraditi 3 point turn.
7. Na hladnom i ranu jesen poslijepodne, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, glup" i dobiva se da ga isključite, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Otvorite konzervu tune ukusna bijele manje tune i jesti ravno iz limenke, u krevetu, noću.
9. Idi u kuhinju dok je žena jede večeru, otvoriti ladicu pribor za jelo i posuđe gurati okolo dok supruga vrišti, "what are you looking for!"
10. Po primitku novih poslovnih kartica, potajno staviti ih po cijeloj kući: Ispod kreveta, u jastučnice, unutar šalica za kavu, u torbici, u džepove kaputa, auto rukavica odjeljaka, ostava — anywhere you can think of.
11. Napišite blog unose podatke o svom suprugu.
12. Probuditi se.
13. Prilikom šetnje ulicama New Yorka, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Imajući u vidu svoje supruge posebne strahove, do dolje, kao da bi jedan pokupiti i pitati, "hmm, Pitam se što je to?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! He’s doing it opet!"
15. Write "top 10" lists that don’t have 10 predmeti.

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Bonus wife joke:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Well, when we finished eating, the waitress came by and asked how we liked our meals. I meant say, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, but instead I screamed at her, ‘You ruined my life!'"

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