1. Mercar brócolis cando vostede sabe que xa é máis que suficiente na neveira.
2. Go for a run. Cool off. Take off clean pillow case and replace with T-shirt. Cover with clean pillow case.
3. Ao dirixir, preguntar se hai que ir polo camiño mal por unha rúa de sentido único.
4. Para 15 anos, todos os domingos que suxire esposa ir a un museo, expresa sorpresa que os museos están abertos os domingos.
5. Para 15 anos, occasionally suggest going to the local book store on Sunday. Express surprise that they are not open on Sunday’s (moitas grazas Leis Azul!).
6. Usar 20 puntos para facer un 3 point turn.
7. Nunha tarde de outono cedo legal, walk into the room and turn on the A/C. Complain that it’s cold. When wife says, "then why did you turn that on, parvo" e obtén-se desactiva-lo, grab the warm spot she had on the couch. Bonus points if she does not realize you did it until much later.
8. Abrir unha lata de atún delicioso branco e come-lo directamente da lata, na cama, á noite.
9. Vaia á cociña mentres a muller está comendo a cea, abrir o caixón de cubertos e utensilios de empurrar ata berros muller, "what are you looking for!"
10. Momento da recepción de novas tarxetas de visita, secretly place them all around the house: Under the bed, in pillow cases, inside coffee cups, in her purse, in coat pockets, car glove compartments, the pantry — anywhere you can think of.
11. Write blog entries about your wife.
12. Wake up.
13. When walking the streets of New York City, be on the alert for "crusty" objects on the ground. Keeping in mind your wife’s special fears, reach down as if to pick one up up and ask, "hmm, Eu me pregunta o que é?" (Be prepared for wife to body slam you as if she’s a secret service agent protecting the President from a sniper or you’ll find yourself laying on your back on the sidewalk).
14. Drive twice around a parking lot looking for space. You know you’ve really hit pay dirt when your son in the back seat yells, "Oh no! He’s doing it novo!"
15. Write "top 10" lists that don’t have 10 items.

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Bonus wife joke:

Two male co-workers go out to lunch. One of them tells the other, "I let loose an embarrassing Freudian slip the other night."

"A Freudian slip? What’s that?"

"Well, when we finished eating, the waitress came by and asked how we liked our meals. I meant say, ‘I loved the chicken breast’ but instead I said ‘I loved your breasts’. I was so embarrassed."

"Ah," his co-worker replied. "I had the same thing happen to me this weekend with my wife. We were eating breakfast I meant to ask her to pass the butter, but instead I screamed at her, ‘You ruined my life!'"

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